Alien Apocalypse
God Bless the indomitable spirit of Bruce Campbell and his undying tenacity to take on even the most pointless script and present it with dignity and aplomb. I think he single handedly keeps the B movie industry alive and Alien Apocalypse can use all the help he can muster.
Life seems bleak in the futuristic wasteland that earth has become. Decimated by war, civilization as we know it has collapsed and the surviving people of earth have been enslaved to work for the “Mites”, our new alien overlords. We follow the story of a handful of astronauts who return to this unfortunate turn of events after finishing the “Probe Mission”, a 40 year journey into space.
Bruce Campbell plays Dr. Ivan Hood, the osteopath (chiropractor) of the mission who’s quick with a zippy comeback and dreams of taking the world by storm as possibly the only remaining doctor. Renee O’connor of Xena: Warrior Princess fame plays Alex, another astronaut on the mission and Dr. Ivan Hood’s love interest. The returning heroes of the Probe Mission are quickly indoctrinated into this new alien regime and forced into slave labour by the Mites and those humans (bounty hunters) who traitorously work alongside them. Thus, the stage is set. Should they accept their fate and toil away into ultimate oblivion, or can Dr. Ivan Hood and the lovely Alex summon up the courage to lead the revolt against the invaders and bring freedom to the planet?
As movies go, this one is not terrible. It’s not good either but it’s not terrible. The premise for the film is rather tenuous but at least it’s a new twist on one of the oldest reasons for an alien attack. The Mites have come to earth to strip mine it of all its…trees. Yes that’s right, trees. Hell, every other natural resource on earth has been the cornerstone for an alien invasion so why not trees this time? Other examples include the TV series V where the “visitors” were deceitfully draining earth of all its water and Independence Day where the aliens just seemed to want everything (Damn greedy aliens. When will they learn?). The Mites put their enslaved minions to work in sawmills where they cut and stack wood. Eventually it gets shipped off world to be used as currency and food for the greater glory of the Mite race!
The whole production has a made-for-TV feel, from the low production value as witnessed in the really terrible wigs and beards placed on most of the cast to the lack of any real cinematography. They use the sun as the primary lighting source, the background settings and landscapes are generic and frequent blackouts/fade-ins could be construed as breaks for commercial insertions. Did you ever watch Dr. Who as a child? Not the new episodes but the ones from the eighties, where every scene was either shot in an abandoned quarry or an innocuous stretch of woods? The writers of Alien Apocalypse sure have.
The script is one of the saving graces of the picture. Although it uses a voice-over (I hate voice-overs) to deliver exposition not only at the beginning of the movie but throughout and at the end, the dialogue between the characters is quirky and punchy and will have you laughing quite frequently. The best lines are saved for Bruce, of course, and even though the movie is fairly weak, Bruce’s delivery of the material is honest and believable. He invests his performance with emotion—his facial expressions a support to the trait that has made him a consummate professional.
Along with the script, the Mites are particularly well crafted. They look like the bigger cousins of common earth wasps only without the wings and sporting a truckload of teeth. Green in colour and with a bulbous ocular disposition, the aliens are really well designed and when they’re not talking in high pitched, helium sucking voices, they’re biting off some errant slave’s head to everyone’s gory delight. Although they move a little woodenly, the CG is pretty clean and matches well with the rest of the movie, not standing out or seeming tacked on or out of place as witnessed in so many other low budget films. Intercut with shots of real animatronic special effects, the Mites are fairly believable bad guys.
Ultimately, Alien Apocalypse is a classic story of oppression and rebellious uprising. Braveheart’s shadow falls across the film and the blatant shout out to Spartacus in a scene where the Mites, intent on finding the leader of the rebellion are met with a chorus of “I’m the leader” can’t be mistaken for anything else. Although the story is a little weak, the production a little underfunded, and the voice over exposition a trifle annoying, Alien Apocalypse still made me laugh where I was supposed to laugh and Bruce Campbell, as always, was very entertaining. Last but not least, look out for Peter Jason from the hit TV series Deadwood in a cameo appearance as President Demsky.
I wouldn’t recommend paying to see it in a theatre (although I doubt it ever found its way into any cinema for you to do this) and I wouldn’t recommend it for the casual viewer, but if you’re a big fan of Bruce Campbell just like I am, then Alien Apocalypse is a must see. You’ll have to decide for yourself whether or not it’s worthy of a position in your DVD collection. Personally, I know I have far worse movies hanging out in mine for which I must atone.
For now, that is all. Goodnight.
